I got home last Thursday. One of my bags still hasn’t arrived. It seems to be having a good time in Frankfurt and doesn’t want to come home.
The truth is, the airline doesn’t know where my bag is. They called on Saturday and asked me to describe it (again).
Lynn: Well, it’s a black, square wheelie thing. You know, like everyone else in the world’s luggage. It’s also really heavy… really heavy – I had to pay extra for that (and, apparently, for you to lose it, thank you).
Lost Luggage Lady: So, what do you have in it? Woman’s clothing?
Lynn: Umm, well, yeah. There’s some woman’s clothing in it.
Lost Luggage Lady: What else? Men’s clothing?
Lynn: ummm, no. There’s no men’s clothing in it.
Here we had arrived at a tough point in the conversation. Lost Luggage Lady was German. I was an American flying into Nice, France. I knew a cultural, language, priority disconnect was imminent. I had to explain that my “bag” (which is almost the size of a house of a family of four in most parts of the world) was filled with the following:
-- approximately 50 skeins of yarn (yeah, don’t you even think that I’m not a little stressed out by the prospect of this loss?!)
-- much, much Midwestern memorabilia (Gifts. I’m sure everyone reading this knows how proud we Midwesterners are of where we are from. Plus, it’s a gift you know the recipient won’t already own. How many Italians own beer glasses that say “Wisconsin”?)
-- a metal bucket that says coca-cola. (don’t ask. It seemed like a good idea at the time)
-- lots and lots of condiments - soy sauce, hot wing sauce, teriyaki marinade, Mexican hot sauces
-- smoked almonds ala Sam’s Club (for those of you not familiar with Sam’s little Club…that’s a lot of almonds)
-- a basket filled with embroidery equipment
-- a bag of black beans.
Lost Luggage Lady: Hmmm. Do you have any shoes in there?
Lynn: Yes. One pair of white tennis shoes and one pair of black loafers.
Lost Luggage Lady: Ok. I’m sure we’ll find it.