Oh my God, I forgot, I have a blog.
Thanksgiving planning is well underway in Casa Cornwell. We will have two Thanksgivings this year, one in the States and one here.
So the other day I went to order the turkey. You have to order a turkey in this country if you want to be assured of having one. They aren't just piled floor to ceiling in every grocery store from Nov 1 on. Oh no...
So I went to the butcher who is called "Barba Rossa" (Red Beard...he doesn't really have a red beard but he does have a beard and it's redder than, well, say, mine). Barba Rossa is the most awesome place to buy anything that I've ever been...seriously, Barba Rossa is to meat what Skyloom Fibers was to yarn (sadly closed now - some of you Denver readers will surely remember it).
So I illegally parked my car outside Barba Rossa's shop (everyone does this, it's just part of the shopping experience) and went in. I walked directly to the cashier and said, "I was wondering if maybe I might perhaps be able to get maybe a turkey?" She turned to the guy with a machete behind her (Barba Rossa's brother, he's got dark hair and no beard).
He said, "no problem. I can get you a whole adult 'maschio' (male) which would be about 14 kilo."
Ok. Time out.
Since this is a Thanksgiving story, I'll like to stop here and interject a few things that I'm thankful for:
1. I'm grateful for having had the presence of mind before going to order a turkey to look up what size I would want. (yes, at 41 I am for the first time in my life cooking a turkey - by the way, I read 1 to 1.5 lbs per person...if this is wrong, please don't anyone tell me because it's too late)
2. I'm grateful for knowing that 1 kilo is 2.2 lbs.
3. I'm grateful that I don't need a freakin' 14 kilo turkey. In case some of you are slow with the math, 14 kilos are 30.8 lbs.
4. I'm also grateful that we don't have 14 kilo turkeys running wild around Maberga.
Back to the butcher...
"um, wow. yeah. that's great. um, there will just be 8 of us."
"I'll get you an adolescent female"
I hope she's got breasts.