Remember all those horror films we all used to watch when we were younger (and less informed, um, I mean STUPID)? Remember all those really really stupid things that people did in those movies when we would scream at the characters things like, "You f$%^in' idiot!!! DON'T GO IN THAT ROOM! THERE'S BLOOD STREAMING FROM THE WALLS! DUHHHHH!"
Or maybe, "WHY THE F$$%^ ARE YOU TAKING A SHOWER?! THE GUY IS CREEPY AND YOU ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE?! HELLLLLLOOOOOOOO!!!!!"
Well, those were old movies. Maybe those characters didn't know any better. They had never seen what could happen. But I have...I've seen my fair share of those groups of friends out in the middle of the woods, families in old houses, and those single women in remote hotels. I've seen them ... and still... I did this...
Let me set the scene...
It's about 7pm, I call David. I'm talking to him outside on my cell when I hear the faint sound of music coming from in the house. Confused, I go in and our computer cell phone is ringing. (If you are a regular reader of Olive Knitting you know that Casa Cornwell doesn't have a phone line, we use a cell for internet...thus the ongoing lamenting about dial up) But it wasn't really ringing, I've heard it ring before, this was music. And when I got close, it wasn't even music. It was someone talking with a music ring tone happening at the same time. This would be freaky enough but added to the fact that no one has this number...well, it was a bit more than freaky. Ok, wrong number - no biggie.
Cool as a cucumber, I hung up on whoever had mistakenly tried to mix it up on our computer cell.
After the convo with David I took the doggies out to the terraces for a little running. When I came back in, the kitchen lights were out. "Damn, I thought I left those on." As a matter of fact, I HAD let them on. They were gone. Done. Burned. Finished. The whole line of them.
Ok, this happens. Planned obsolescence. David put these lights in when we moved in 4 years ago and replaced them two years ago. That math works. It's about time for them to go. Bad timing, however, since I won't be fixing them. Just means that I will be making dinner during sunlight. Which, unfortunately is earlier and earlier. Good thing I had that training during my recent visit to the midwest when dinner is at 5.30.
Cool as a cucumber, I lit a few standing lamps. No biggie.
Then I went into the bathroom...this one IS a biggie. There was a bottle of aspirin out of place. Don't laugh. The first thing I do when David leaves the house is put everything away, in its proper place. David has a lot of strengths but putting things where he found them is not one of them. How did that bottle get to where it was? If by some weird chance I had missed it on my first sweep of no-David organizing, how did I miss it again and again? It's the bathroom...not like I haven't been going in there for the past two days without him.
Ok, here's the tie into the intro to this post...what did I proceed to do?
I took a bath. I TOOK A FREAKIN' BATH! Duh!
It didn't occur to me until I was two minutes into the soak...WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! Suddenly I remembered all those stupid movies, those stupid people. And suddenly I felt that I WAS one of them. I TOOK A BATH.
Geez, it's a miracle on enormous scales that a psycho southern Italian with a headache dressed as his dead mother didn't come screeching in and stab me to death. But alas, I'm here to tell the tale.
Remember a month ago when I talked about "avere paura" or "hast angst" or "being afraid"...yeah, well, a girl has the right to change her mind.
I've now dug out the keys to Casa Cornwell and locked her up. After hitting "publish post" I'm going to bed to watch Bourne Supremacy. That should help. I'm pretty sure that the CIA is not trying to get me.